Parenting Book for parents
Go to Your Room!: Consequences That Teach by Shari Steelsmith tells you why many consequences don’t work and how to start selecting ones that will help your child learn to do better next time.
The book is a guide for parents with 3 to 14 year-old children. The Author, Shari Steelsmith holds a degree in English Literature from Seattle Pacific. After a decade of editing children’s and parenting books, she is now a freelance writer of books and articles on family, parenting, and educational topics. To date, she has written and co-authored a total of eleven books.
- Over 50 common misbehaviors and lists of creative workable consequences
- Real-life examples and solutions easily adaptable to your family
- Immediately usable, practical ideas
- Tips & techniques for avoiding a consequence scenario
- How to choose the right consequence for your child
- How to effectively deliver a consequence and follow through
- How to deal with children’s protests, arguments, and tantrums
Visit the website for more information about parenting and the book at http://www.ParentingPress.com
Successful Parenting Tips
It is important for a child to feel a sense of security and longing, as these small things helps build confidence and self-esteem. If a child is disciplined in this respect, he will not have the need to withdraw to gangs, drugs, violence etc. just to find a place of comfort.
Here are a few tips for successful parenting adopted from different sources:
Time spent with your child is next to nothing - While toys, clothing and other material things may take his attention away from you not being physically there, it doesn’t mean that he’s content with you not being there. Time is the most important thing that you can give your child, as it makes him feel secure, loved and valued.
Try to allot some time to play or even as simple as talk to your child on a daily basis. There are a lot of activities you can share with your child like reading him a book before bedtime, watching with him his kiddie show(hope it’s not Barney :D), or if you want him to become more artistically inclined, painting or drawing would be the thing for you. The point is just to spend some time doing something together with your child, because these small acts really mean a great deal to his emotional development.
Give children a Sense of Responsibility - Remember when you were in grade school, and you can’t wait to be in high school or even college? Same goes for your child, the concept of becoming an adult excites them, and one way to develop them to becoming more independent is to give them responsibilities. Well, it doesn’t have to be anything big like paying for the rent (poor kid), it could be as simple as making his bed or packing up his toys when he’s done playing, anything that would make him feel that he’s part of the ‘adult’ community.
Actions mean more than Words - Sometimes, especially when we’re tired coming home from work, we neglect the small things that our child does, he may do something we don’t like and we simply tell him “No, don’t do that.” Of course, being a parent, we all know simply saying it is never enough - especially if we’re talking to a toddler, and tired as we are, we simply give up and just let him be, well - DON’T BE. If you let a “No, Don’t Do That” pass him without you doing something about it, chances are, the next time you tell him to stop, he’ll simply disregard it. The key is to just be patient, no matter how tired you are, Act On It, and remember that your dealing with a child (not your boss), and he can’t help but disobey at times, call it curiosity if you must.
Notice the Act not the Child - When reprimanding, always point it towards the deed and not the person who did it. This shows that you are not angry at him but angry because of what he did. Also, try and explain to the child why you reprimanded him and why he shouldn’t do the same act again. This should go the same for complements, instead of saying “Good Boy”, say “Good Job” when he does something that you like.
Be Kind but be Firm - Whenever you say no, you don’t need to be mad, angry or shouting if he doesn’t comply, but it also doesn’t mean that you have to give him what he wants because your simply being kind.
Consequence for every Action - Rewarding and Punishing has always been one of the most effective disciplining tool. Just be careful and explain the logic behind the consequences of every action. As these simple logic are a child’s building blocks for telling right from wrong.
Don’t be seen Angry - If your child doesn’t listen to you, don’t get angry. If you do, he’ll take it that the right thing to do if you don’t get what you want is to BE ANGRY, and believe me you wouldn’t want him to throw tantrums every time he doesn’t get what he wants.
Parent with End Result in mind - Guide your child thinking how they will turn out as adults and not how they would turn out after the action. Always think longer terms, instead of what’s beneficial now. For example, spanking your child would be the easy way to make him listen to you, and it is most likely a guarantee that he will - because it hurts; but, chances are, your child will grow up thinking that spanking or hitting is not bad, thus teaching him to use acts of aggression as a resort to getting what he wants.
Be consistent and Follow through - Children get confused easily, so when explaining things, try to be consistent, same as when you have an agreement with your child, if the two of you agree on something, keep your word. This builds trust between the two of you and he will also know that when he says he’ll do something, he has to keep it.
These are simple guides on how you should parent your child, taking into consideration how he will use your actions to justify his. The general rule is simple though - Trust, Love, and Respect, it’s all you really need to raise your child to becoming a responsible human being.
Difference Between Boys and Girls
Taken from Discipline without Shouting or Spanking, the points below are actually pretty accurate based on my own experiences:
- Boys prefer to focus more on a single task and they react more aggressively to interruptions.
- Girl’s motor activities peak less quickly, are less vigorous and last longer.
- Boys create and play games that fill larger spaces, and they need to be outside more.
- Girls’ attention to objects is less fleeting and less active.
- Girls rely more on their five senses.
- Boys do better with visual information presented to the left eye, which feeds the right hemisphere.
- By age five, girls are six months ahead of boys in general development.
- Boys who see themselves as physically strong will seek rough and tumble play.
- Boys who feel safe and competent will seek independence earlier than girls.
*These differences are broad generalizations based on the vast amount of research on the development of boys and girls. Individual children may vary from these tendencies.
Discipline without Shouting or Spanking
If you are a parent, recognize that it is the most important calling and rewarding challenge you have. What you do every day, what you say and how you act, will do more to shape the future of America (Your Country) than any other factor. - Marion Wright Edelman
Discipline without shouting or spanking
Having problems disciplining your preschooler? This book just might be of some help to you. Discipline without shouting or spanking gives parents a great deal of insight to the most common Preschool Behavior Problems.
Understanding your preschooler is generally the most practical solution, but the problem, however, is that this often easier said than done. Which is why it is easy to appreciate books that help understand the cause of the problem or even an idea why such a problem exists, especially when it comes to your two-year-old. Plus, it’s a bit reassuring to know that what you’re going through with your child is actually normal, and that every parent goes through the same painful process as you do, it’s just a matter of how patient you can be.